Happy New Year, IWBYB readers! I don't want to waste too much space on what a year it was. I choose instead to look to 2008. Hopefully, the year in music will be just as amazing as it was in 2007, which was a pretty darn terrific year in music from Spoon to M.I.A. to the National to Of Montreal and Lupe Fiasco and everything in between (Shins, Blonde Redhead, Spank Rock.) Here's hoping that the impact of Radiohead's distribution plan isn't so deeply felt that I can't buy CD's anymore. Let's also hope for a swift end to the WGA strike in Hollywood, because I need my 30 Rock. I also look forward to more great work by the Coens, Haynes', Lumets and Cronenbergs and pray I don't see a week as bleak as the one that took away Bergman and Antonioni. Let's hope to see our favorite bands live and our teams in the finals (again.) Finally, I hope that anybody reading this accomplishes what they want to and realizes what they need to. I know I'll try.
Just for fun, here are some links to my 3 favorite videos all year:
Justice on Kimmel
Alanis does Fergie
Boom Goes the Dynamite, my favorite video of any year, and my 2007 catchphrase.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Emery Bored
Not much of a story here folks, but when you have a headline all written for you like this, sometimes you have to put something under it. The fact of the matter is that Ray Emery is bored and not looking much like the hero he was last year. This problem speaks to three things: New Number One Martin Gerber’s talent, Ray Emery’s attitude problem and coach John Paddock’s mishandling of certain situations.
The first issue is really no issue at all. Last year, when Gerber stumbled out of the gates, I stayed in the minority, believing he would improve, remembering how good he had been. The only problem was having such a highly-paid talent play backup. Emery, however was playing great, helping the Senators get to the final and earning a raise.
Ottawa has bad luck with goaltending. From the weird inconsistencies of the talented Patrick Lalime to Dominik Hasek’s untimely injury, bad luck in net has been a plague. Now they find themselves with two talented goalies having their hot and cold streaks at the wrong times. Currently, they have two big ticket goaltenders in a hockey market where it is very hard to trade a goalie. (Ilya Bryzgalov, no slouch himself, had to be claimed off waivers to get some playing time in Phoenix.)
The big difference between cold streak Gerber and cold streak Emery is that Gerber was all class riding the bench and Emery is throwing tantrums and showing up to practice hungover. I blame Emery for his negative attitude and certainly don’t think his coach should pander to him, but I think the situation could have been avoided.
Although Paddock hasn’t approached Guy Carbonneau levels of talent mismanagement or John Tortorella abuse, his decisions have been unjustly insulting. From pulling Gerber out of a game that he was winning, to starting him on back to back nights, making it unnecessarily clear who was number 1, to not pulling Gerber at any point in an 8-6 loss the other night, his decisions regarding this conflict are creating unfortunate distractions for the team. The Ottawa Senators are in a very good position right now, and can afford to hand some starts to Emery to get his game back and hopefully move forward with the tandem that they paid for.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
A Pakistan Primer
Benazir Bhutto was assassinated today, shot during a suicide bombing. (Only in the Middle East, I tell you.) This event that made me realize that I know next to nothing about her. All I really knew was that Bhutto was a significant female political figure in the Middle East. So I got to digging. Here is A Dummy’s Guide to the Assassination of Benazir Bhutto and What It Means:
-Pakistan has nuclear weapons.
-Ms. Bhutto, the daughter of a former Primer Minister became leader of the Pakistan Peoples Party and was elected Prime Minister twice.
-She was the first woman elected to lead a Muslim state.
-Both times she was removed from office due to corruption. The first time was 20 months after her election; the second time was 3 years after her election.
-Corrupt or not, she was at the helm during a very significant period of peace and is seen by many to be the only hope for future peace in Pakistan.
-Elections were to be held January 8 in Pakistan, which is currently run by dictator Pervez Musharraf. This is where things get a little tricky and the conspiracy theories bubble up.
-On one hand, Musharraf was key in having the corruption charges dropped and granting Bhutto amnesty, ushering in her return to Pakistan from exile. It is thought that they may have been in talks to develop a coalition government-each receiving support from different factions in Pakistan. His power has been unstable since the coup that brought it to him. She was under house arrest prior to her assassination, and this may have been his way of protecting her.
-This, however, seems unlikely. Most see her as his opposition, and she has been outspoken about his dictatorship. Musharraf was holding up the process of a fair election by earlier declaring a state of emergency. He also passed a law imposing a 2-term limit on Prime Ministers. Both Bhutto and candidate Nawaz Sharif had served 2 terms already. Also her house arrest came just hours before she was meant to appear at a rally against the state of emergency.
-Whether they were keying up to be allies or remained bitter enemies, the fact remains that PAKISTAN HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS.
-This event could cause instability in the Middle East.
-Further, that is. Could cause FURTHER instability in the Middle East.
-The question of who is behind the assassination (could be Al-Qaeda. Quickly: When the U.S. cut and run in their war against Afghanistan to focus instead on Iraq, the Taliban was able to get into Pakistan, a country that helped create them. Bhutto even supported them initially. The fact, however, is that Bush seems to support Musharraf, so it is hard to say why they would want to eliminate his adversary. Musharraf, obviously, could also be behind it. It’s certainly one way to win an election) may be a moot point. The real issue is that this assassination could galvanize Bhutto’s supporters, a large and downtrodden group. This would be a reasonable excuse for Musharraf to implement martial law.
-And all of this instability, all of this FURTHER instability, could lead to a civil war in a country that HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS. Apart from the sad loss of a powerful and important woman who may have been a key to unlikely peace, the truthful maybe of the previous sentence, a sentence featuring the words ‘instability,’ ‘nuclear’ and ‘war,’ is worth keeping in mind.
-Also, the paternity of Jamie-Lynn Spears' child is still unclear. For more information, you could log into Fox News for the first half of the day, while most other sources were covering the assassination.
-Pakistan has nuclear weapons.
-Ms. Bhutto, the daughter of a former Primer Minister became leader of the Pakistan Peoples Party and was elected Prime Minister twice.
-She was the first woman elected to lead a Muslim state.
-Both times she was removed from office due to corruption. The first time was 20 months after her election; the second time was 3 years after her election.
-Corrupt or not, she was at the helm during a very significant period of peace and is seen by many to be the only hope for future peace in Pakistan.
-Elections were to be held January 8 in Pakistan, which is currently run by dictator Pervez Musharraf. This is where things get a little tricky and the conspiracy theories bubble up.
-On one hand, Musharraf was key in having the corruption charges dropped and granting Bhutto amnesty, ushering in her return to Pakistan from exile. It is thought that they may have been in talks to develop a coalition government-each receiving support from different factions in Pakistan. His power has been unstable since the coup that brought it to him. She was under house arrest prior to her assassination, and this may have been his way of protecting her.
-This, however, seems unlikely. Most see her as his opposition, and she has been outspoken about his dictatorship. Musharraf was holding up the process of a fair election by earlier declaring a state of emergency. He also passed a law imposing a 2-term limit on Prime Ministers. Both Bhutto and candidate Nawaz Sharif had served 2 terms already. Also her house arrest came just hours before she was meant to appear at a rally against the state of emergency.
-Whether they were keying up to be allies or remained bitter enemies, the fact remains that PAKISTAN HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS.
-This event could cause instability in the Middle East.
-Further, that is. Could cause FURTHER instability in the Middle East.
-The question of who is behind the assassination (could be Al-Qaeda. Quickly: When the U.S. cut and run in their war against Afghanistan to focus instead on Iraq, the Taliban was able to get into Pakistan, a country that helped create them. Bhutto even supported them initially. The fact, however, is that Bush seems to support Musharraf, so it is hard to say why they would want to eliminate his adversary. Musharraf, obviously, could also be behind it. It’s certainly one way to win an election) may be a moot point. The real issue is that this assassination could galvanize Bhutto’s supporters, a large and downtrodden group. This would be a reasonable excuse for Musharraf to implement martial law.
-And all of this instability, all of this FURTHER instability, could lead to a civil war in a country that HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS. Apart from the sad loss of a powerful and important woman who may have been a key to unlikely peace, the truthful maybe of the previous sentence, a sentence featuring the words ‘instability,’ ‘nuclear’ and ‘war,’ is worth keeping in mind.
-Also, the paternity of Jamie-Lynn Spears' child is still unclear. For more information, you could log into Fox News for the first half of the day, while most other sources were covering the assassination.
Monday, December 17, 2007
No Bells for You
I recently took an extra-enthusiastic (and fairly ignorant) Spoon fan to task for some amusing behavior witnessed during the same show that I had to endure some extra-drunk (and completely oblivious) revelers getting all up in my space. In their defense, they were at a rock concert. In the venue’s defense, security gave the boisterous pair a glare that shut them down. I enjoyed that, but have come to expect occasional drunken stupidity at the type of show that I enjoy. If a Tori Amos concert-intimate, that is-were the type of show I enjoyed, I would find bad behavior grating.
Fortunately, so does Ms. Amos. You can check out a better report here than I will provide you (complete with video.) The gist is that two girls were coming and going, talking on their phones and generally abusing their front row privileges. So Tori kicked them out. It’s that simple folks. We’re trying to have a society here. So behave, already, or you’ll be shown the door.
Stomp
First things first: the NHL is cracking down on violence and the Philadelphia Flyers are having none of that. But, whatever the Philadelphia Flyers are guilty of (hits from behind mostly, a little cross-checking), it doesn’t compare to the latest psychotic act from New York Islanders goon Chris Simon. Prior to this, Simon had been suspended 7 times for a total of 40 games-basically the equivalent of three 2007 Flyers. That number will go up for this stabby stomping.
I had felt good about hockey this summer, when the NBA was dealing with gambling referees, the NFL was ignoring Michael Vick’s gruesome hobby, and the WWE (notarealsportbutwhatever) was suffering through a tragic familicide and accusations of encouraging steroid abuse. (The MLB, for their part, had the usual doping questions to hide from.) Hockey was looking pretty clean until it started up again.
But instead of focusing on the negatives, like why in the world violent acts seem to be increasing proportionally to the league’s efforts to eliminate them, I would like to commend the New York Islanders organization for the correct handling of an unusual situation. Instead of waiting for the league to measure intent against prior record into a sum of games, they sent Chris Simon to counselling for an indefinite amount of time, allowing him to (hopefully) take care of some issues knowing there will still be a place on the team for him, but not for his brand of justice. It’s refreshing to see a team that can balance their responsibilities to both their player and the league.
I had felt good about hockey this summer, when the NBA was dealing with gambling referees, the NFL was ignoring Michael Vick’s gruesome hobby, and the WWE (notarealsportbutwhatever) was suffering through a tragic familicide and accusations of encouraging steroid abuse. (The MLB, for their part, had the usual doping questions to hide from.) Hockey was looking pretty clean until it started up again.
But instead of focusing on the negatives, like why in the world violent acts seem to be increasing proportionally to the league’s efforts to eliminate them, I would like to commend the New York Islanders organization for the correct handling of an unusual situation. Instead of waiting for the league to measure intent against prior record into a sum of games, they sent Chris Simon to counselling for an indefinite amount of time, allowing him to (hopefully) take care of some issues knowing there will still be a place on the team for him, but not for his brand of justice. It’s refreshing to see a team that can balance their responsibilities to both their player and the league.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
White Girl
Today’s people-who-should-really-think-twice-before-they-speak-to-reporters news is brought to us by Angelina Jolie. Whenever I used to walk by the supermarket tabloids and see cover stories about how she loves her adopted babies more than her biological child, I used to think, “She may be eccentric, doesn’t seem very nice and hasn’t made a good movie in 10 years, but nobody should write dirt like that about someone’s children.” It’s pretty much the lowest form of tabloid journalism, literally, therefore, the lowest of the low. It didn’t cross my mind that it could be true, but then, “it could be true” never crosses my mind when I’m reading in the supermarket aisle.
As turns out she’s said as much recently, and twice! That the second quote makes it sound like she shops for orphans the same way she would for dresses (“This one has PERSONALITY!”) is probably just context. I do find it alarming that she doesn’t see any harm any making comments like these. I try not to concern myself too much with the plights of celebrity children, nor do I have any real interest in celebrity gossip. I find this notable only because Jolie, for all her flaws, seems like a fairly intelligent woman, who should be savvy enough to watch what she says.
As turns out she’s said as much recently, and twice! That the second quote makes it sound like she shops for orphans the same way she would for dresses (“This one has PERSONALITY!”) is probably just context. I do find it alarming that she doesn’t see any harm any making comments like these. I try not to concern myself too much with the plights of celebrity children, nor do I have any real interest in celebrity gossip. I find this notable only because Jolie, for all her flaws, seems like a fairly intelligent woman, who should be savvy enough to watch what she says.
An Inconvenient Suitcase
I still consider Al Gore a hero of mine. From the time before the 2000 “election” when he called environmental disaster the number 2 threat to the United States (behind, guess what, terrorism,) I thought this could be the greatest thing to ever happen to my continent: an environmentalist as President of the Free World.
Disappointing, then, that he is so frequently criticized by the depleting faction of Bush apologists that refuse to see the future as a time worth thinking about. He can take it, of course. But why, Al, do you make it so easy for them sometimes? He can charge whatever he wants for speaking engagements, and I’ll bet that a lot of that green isn’t just “lining his own pockets,” but also being spent on research. (Although at approximately $7000 a minute, he should have the cash by now to save the planet himself.) Even worse, in my opinion, is using two separate modes of transportation for him and his luggage. Isn’t the whole point of his rhetoric that some sacrifices have to be made for the greater good? In any case, I still love Al Gore, but nobody should have to tell him to smarten up.
And, as an aside, I feel about as sick and dirty as I should using a link that shills for Ann Coulter to dis Al Gore.
Disappointing, then, that he is so frequently criticized by the depleting faction of Bush apologists that refuse to see the future as a time worth thinking about. He can take it, of course. But why, Al, do you make it so easy for them sometimes? He can charge whatever he wants for speaking engagements, and I’ll bet that a lot of that green isn’t just “lining his own pockets,” but also being spent on research. (Although at approximately $7000 a minute, he should have the cash by now to save the planet himself.) Even worse, in my opinion, is using two separate modes of transportation for him and his luggage. Isn’t the whole point of his rhetoric that some sacrifices have to be made for the greater good? In any case, I still love Al Gore, but nobody should have to tell him to smarten up.
And, as an aside, I feel about as sick and dirty as I should using a link that shills for Ann Coulter to dis Al Gore.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Not in My Universe
(Apologies to anyone out there who reads IWBYB. Production was stopped briefly due to home computer issues and not, as has been speculated, in sympathy for the Writer's Guild of America. Computer problems now fixed, production has resumed.)
I remember one autumn, back in high school, desperately reaching for cool in the newsstand, when the Generation Next issue of Rolling Stone crossed my eye. It contained barely any copy, but photo after photo of alternative artists like Afghan Whigs, Sugar, PJ Harvey and, uh, Tony Toni Tone. This was a first, early step toward discovering my own aesthetic, though it’s clear now that they were only capitalizing on the alternative nation, growing stronger after the unifying suicide of Kurt Cobain. But, to me, this was like a book of magic. Which is why I can look at the controversial Camel “Indie Rock Universe” advertorial and fondly reminisce about that nearly-15 year old tastemaking issue.
Unfortunately for Camel, times have changed, and they are getting into trouble for their own stupid decision to design their pullout like a high school notebook. Which means doodles. Which means illegal. Cigarette companies are no longer allowed to target children through advertising, and this includes using cartoons, a condition that was likely specifically passed to destroy the phallic-faced Joe Camel character. Now, I don’t imagine a lot of kids read Rolling Stone anymore. I can’t even really imagine who does. But wrapping a cigarette ad around a notebook design seems phenomenally stupid. The cartoons, for their part, big up the irony.
The Indie Rock Universe itself is pretty amazing, in a shallow and random way. Over 200 bands are listed, and it includes everybody who’s anybody in the world of hip music, alongside some pandering crap like Fall Out Boy (actually that whole planet kind os stinks.) I combed the list and Regina Spektor is the only name I couldn’t find on it. And the crazy thing is that Camel has not only opened itself up to liability in every state that carries Rolling Stone magazine. They also didn’t get the artists’ permission to attach them to its product, which could open them up to liability from nearly every act out there (besides Ms. Spektor) that is not making enough money on CD sales anymore. Thank you Big Tobacco!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
St. Louis Blues
About a year ago, a 13-year-old St. Louis girl named Megan Meier fell victim to a cruel online bullying hoax, believing that a cute boy named Josh, new to town, was interested in meeting her. “Josh” soon lost interest, telling her that he had heard that she was a bad person who treated her friends poorly and that the world would be a better place without her. Meier, who suffered from depression, hung herself shortly after reading this.
Before getting to the reveal, and without placing any blame on Meier’s parents, I would like to point out that it is never a good idea to let your children cruise through MySpace and that it becomes increasingly apparent, in a “To Catch a Predator” society, that your child’s Internet time should be strictly monitored.
Anyway, this tragedy’s twist is that “Josh” wasn’t a creation of schoolyard bullies, but rather the mother of a girl who was no longer Megan’s friend. The Meier parents want Anti-Cyberbullying laws set in place to protect children like her daughter, but that seems unlikely and tough to legislate. The offending mother, who merely wanted to make Megan feel as bad as a 13-year-old girl possibly could (which is surely very bad, indeed) but did not expect her to snap like that, didn’t really commit any crime here. She was only mean and will probably get away with her cruelty.
Except that, as I’ve explored before, everything comes out in the World Wide Wash, and blogger vigilantes are making sure that the Drew family, who were unnamed by the traditional media to protect their own daughter, pay a price. Names, photos and pictures of the family have been passed around, they are being harassed in their own neighborhood and (poetically) through their computer. Clients of their family-owned printing company are also being harassed. This mistake is going to hit this family in more ways than any legislation could have. This, I think, is reasonable.
As this series of tubes known as the Internet increases its dominance over our society, we are inventing our own set of social values, where the public shaming of jerks and assholes is valid retribution. As I’ve written before, you should never do anything online that you wouldn’t want your mother to see. She will find out about it, you sick jerk.
Before getting to the reveal, and without placing any blame on Meier’s parents, I would like to point out that it is never a good idea to let your children cruise through MySpace and that it becomes increasingly apparent, in a “To Catch a Predator” society, that your child’s Internet time should be strictly monitored.
Anyway, this tragedy’s twist is that “Josh” wasn’t a creation of schoolyard bullies, but rather the mother of a girl who was no longer Megan’s friend. The Meier parents want Anti-Cyberbullying laws set in place to protect children like her daughter, but that seems unlikely and tough to legislate. The offending mother, who merely wanted to make Megan feel as bad as a 13-year-old girl possibly could (which is surely very bad, indeed) but did not expect her to snap like that, didn’t really commit any crime here. She was only mean and will probably get away with her cruelty.
Except that, as I’ve explored before, everything comes out in the World Wide Wash, and blogger vigilantes are making sure that the Drew family, who were unnamed by the traditional media to protect their own daughter, pay a price. Names, photos and pictures of the family have been passed around, they are being harassed in their own neighborhood and (poetically) through their computer. Clients of their family-owned printing company are also being harassed. This mistake is going to hit this family in more ways than any legislation could have. This, I think, is reasonable.
As this series of tubes known as the Internet increases its dominance over our society, we are inventing our own set of social values, where the public shaming of jerks and assholes is valid retribution. As I’ve written before, you should never do anything online that you wouldn’t want your mother to see. She will find out about it, you sick jerk.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Parents Just Don't Understand
or, Only Stupid People Are Breeding
If I decide to come eat at a restaurant where you are enjoying a meal, and start to scream for 20 minutes, it is reasonable to expect a manager to intervene. Which is what happened at an O’Charley’s in Kentucky, except I wasn’t the one screaming. It was a little baby.
And, in this story, I completely take the side of restaurant, and I can’t imagine who wouldn’t. If your kid is crying and you can’t make it stop, bring the child outside. That’s the price you pay for not paying the price for the babysitter. If you don’t do this, and a manager comes to ask you to, be polite and apologetic, for it is you who are disturbing the peace in this situation. The expectation of a nice, quiet time in a restaurant is approximately equal to the expectation (now) of a smoke-free environment or the expectation of no machine parts in my fajita at a Montana’s 2 years ago. A hands-off approach to parenting is a fairly terrible idea, and even I, a dumb, childless man, know that a crying baby is trying to tell you something. Parents who get fed up after two minutes of trying to shut their baby up and go back to enjoying their food while they let their kid exhaust itself are thoughtless and awful. And, the ones that let their kids run around a busy restaurant where waiters are running around with plates and trays are negligent, too.
End rant.
Also, this story seems like a fun time to bring up a poll I saw on gawker.com asking which you would rather get: herpes or pregnant?
If I decide to come eat at a restaurant where you are enjoying a meal, and start to scream for 20 minutes, it is reasonable to expect a manager to intervene. Which is what happened at an O’Charley’s in Kentucky, except I wasn’t the one screaming. It was a little baby.
And, in this story, I completely take the side of restaurant, and I can’t imagine who wouldn’t. If your kid is crying and you can’t make it stop, bring the child outside. That’s the price you pay for not paying the price for the babysitter. If you don’t do this, and a manager comes to ask you to, be polite and apologetic, for it is you who are disturbing the peace in this situation. The expectation of a nice, quiet time in a restaurant is approximately equal to the expectation (now) of a smoke-free environment or the expectation of no machine parts in my fajita at a Montana’s 2 years ago. A hands-off approach to parenting is a fairly terrible idea, and even I, a dumb, childless man, know that a crying baby is trying to tell you something. Parents who get fed up after two minutes of trying to shut their baby up and go back to enjoying their food while they let their kid exhaust itself are thoughtless and awful. And, the ones that let their kids run around a busy restaurant where waiters are running around with plates and trays are negligent, too.
End rant.
Also, this story seems like a fun time to bring up a poll I saw on gawker.com asking which you would rather get: herpes or pregnant?
Hero: The Bachelor
Last night, I serendipitously tuned into ABC, just in time to catch the final moments of The Bachelor. As someone who feels he has a fairly realistic understanding of the nature of love and marriage, I have a huge problem with this program, and others of its ilk. How in the world, it seems reasonable to ask, can a man be arrogant enough to believe that he can find true love within a pre-selected assortment of TV-ready pretty young things? Who are these women, willing to submit themselves to a contest that only one can win, and able to fall in madly in love with a man they know nothing more about than the fact that he’s a, sorry, the bachelor? And who ever wanted to make love a contest? (And why does this paragraph sound like Sex and the City narration?)
Needless to say, I’m not a fan of The Bachelor. But I was flipping and it was on and I seemed to recall something about the most shocking finale ever and here he was, on my screen, The Bachelor himself, on a platform, holding the hands of a finalist, about to break her heart or make her season-long dreams come true. I watched him break her heart, after which I think he asked her if she was mad at him (!), and then on to the next finalist. Logic, or contest rules, would dictate that this was his choice, the one he loved and would marry on some well-lit TV special. And then, the greatest thing happened. He chose none of the above.
So maybe this Bachelor isn’t so dumb. Maybe he realized that he didn’t want the kind of woman who would submit herself to this bizarre spectacle. Maybe he knew that, out here in real reality, a woman existed who could make him feel more than any of these wannabes. Maybe he’s just a consummate bachelor. Either way, he did what to me seems the reasonable thing to do, where most TV bachelors would pick a winner, ignore the point and deal with the reality when he gets there. So for this small gesture towards the meaning of love, he gets my hero tag.
I’d like to add how funny it was when, one second after the program ended, the promo for tonight’s reunion show began with, “It was the finale that shocked America!” One second later.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Hero: Wade Redden
There’s something great about the Senators of Ottawa City (official team of IWBYB.) Marquee players Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley recently renewed long term contracts, millions of dollars below what they would make on the free agent market. Why? Because they want to confirm their commitment to the organization and continue playing quality hockey on a team with a future. They love Ottawa and Ottawa loves them.
Ottawa City defenceman Wade Redden, however, did them one better today when he did the unheard of, not just in the NHL, but in any industry, anywhere. He offered to work for LESS. Contracts and salary caps being what they are, it seemed likely that the Sens would not work out a new deal with an overpaid, inconsistent, but frequently terrific defenceman. With many other teams (Toronto, Atlanta, Boston, LA) struggling on the blueline, he could have waited it out and received a raise and a clean slate elsewhere. I mean, who asks for less money? Certainly not that jerk Ryan Smyth, who cries everytime he comes back to Edmonton but wouldn't consider staying.
The Players’ Union may take issue with this, but I think it’s admirable and shows a lot of heart. Ottawa fans (including this writer) haven’t always been kind to him. This offer shows such strong commitment, that you just know that, given the chance, he will be better. I hope he’s given the chance.
And, to make things more clear, this was announced on the same day that Eric Lindros announced that he would announce his retirement Thursday. Lindros, the league leader in concussions over the last decade, should serve as a cautionary tale to players who want to argue that there is a ‘me’ in team. But there’s not – only the makings of one. He refused to play for the team that drafted him (Quebec) due to limited endorsement opportunities, providing them enough star power in a trade that they won the cup (as the Colorado Avalanche), while he became one of the most maligned players of the 90’s.
Here’s to you, Wade.
Slick
I don’t have much to say that isn’t said much better here. But, I would like to use this forum to point out that 18 years after a disastrous oil spill that ruined an ecosystem, destroyed a town and resulted, directly and indirectly, in lots of death, Exxon hasn’t paid its $5 billion punitive award and may get out of paying it altogether. That is all.
That, and is corporate responsibility just some weird oxymoron that I invented or does it have a meaning?
That, and is corporate responsibility just some weird oxymoron that I invented or does it have a meaning?
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Two Princes
A couple of news stories have got my goat. One is about a dog, the other, a different animal.
So, Dog the Bounty Hunter is a flaming racist. He’s pretty much fired from A&E due to some damaging remarks that have surfaced from a phone conversation with his son. I’ve recently gone over how important it is to protect your ass when you feel like saying stupid things, but I think a certain measure of privacy can be expected when you’re talking to your family on the phone. But I don’t feel sorry for him and I’d like to break it down. In the conversation, which you can hear here, he tells his son how damaging it would be if the media was made aware of how much they used the n-word (prescient) even though he seems to try to make it clear that its not in the racist sense (ok, fine.) It’s kind of hard to make out his point, with all the n-bombs being tossed around, but apparently, fear of being branded a racist is the reason he doesn’t want his son to continue dating a black girl he’s been seeing. Which is where context becomes more racist than vocabulary. But don't worry, Dog. Don Imus just got his job back, so just hold on, be strong. (For the extreme irony trifecta, it should be noted that he is brought down by his son – a tactic he might have learned after years of helping his dad convince family member to turn each other in.)
In sports news, wishy-washy, frequently separatist lawyer Guy Bertrand made hockey hero Saku Koivu the center of attention this week, accusing him of being unfit to captain the Montreal Canadiens. Bertrand was offended that Koivu spoke English only during a pre-taped pre-game ceremony, and said, although something may have been lost in translation, that he has the right to be served in his language. But Bertrand, the stupid idiot, comes across unaware that Koivu, captain of the Montreal Canadiens, isn’t even actually a Canadian. He came here from Finland and picked up a second language (English) to communicate with his teammates. Or that Koivu, naturally, speaks some French, but might be uncomfortable speaking it in front of a stadium full of people. (Although he heroically did just that at the next game.) He might also be unaware that less than half of the Habs’ roster is Canadian, and that less than half of those are from Quebec. Or that, quite likely, more than half of the fans at the game counted English as a first language. Who does he want as captain of this team, Brisebois? Is he so deluded that he’s already forgotten how many Quebec players dismissed his idea of a Quebec national team at the 2008 World Ice Hockey Championships? Does he know that many talented players, including Quebecers like Daniel Briere, choose not to play in Montreal due to the often ridiculous media scrutiny, and that this can’t help? Wasn’t he around last year when they ALREADY GAVE KOIVU A HARD TIME ABOUT IT? Leave Saku alone!! He’s good for you.
So, Dog the Bounty Hunter is a flaming racist. He’s pretty much fired from A&E due to some damaging remarks that have surfaced from a phone conversation with his son. I’ve recently gone over how important it is to protect your ass when you feel like saying stupid things, but I think a certain measure of privacy can be expected when you’re talking to your family on the phone. But I don’t feel sorry for him and I’d like to break it down. In the conversation, which you can hear here, he tells his son how damaging it would be if the media was made aware of how much they used the n-word (prescient) even though he seems to try to make it clear that its not in the racist sense (ok, fine.) It’s kind of hard to make out his point, with all the n-bombs being tossed around, but apparently, fear of being branded a racist is the reason he doesn’t want his son to continue dating a black girl he’s been seeing. Which is where context becomes more racist than vocabulary. But don't worry, Dog. Don Imus just got his job back, so just hold on, be strong. (For the extreme irony trifecta, it should be noted that he is brought down by his son – a tactic he might have learned after years of helping his dad convince family member to turn each other in.)
In sports news, wishy-washy, frequently separatist lawyer Guy Bertrand made hockey hero Saku Koivu the center of attention this week, accusing him of being unfit to captain the Montreal Canadiens. Bertrand was offended that Koivu spoke English only during a pre-taped pre-game ceremony, and said, although something may have been lost in translation, that he has the right to be served in his language. But Bertrand, the stupid idiot, comes across unaware that Koivu, captain of the Montreal Canadiens, isn’t even actually a Canadian. He came here from Finland and picked up a second language (English) to communicate with his teammates. Or that Koivu, naturally, speaks some French, but might be uncomfortable speaking it in front of a stadium full of people. (Although he heroically did just that at the next game.) He might also be unaware that less than half of the Habs’ roster is Canadian, and that less than half of those are from Quebec. Or that, quite likely, more than half of the fans at the game counted English as a first language. Who does he want as captain of this team, Brisebois? Is he so deluded that he’s already forgotten how many Quebec players dismissed his idea of a Quebec national team at the 2008 World Ice Hockey Championships? Does he know that many talented players, including Quebecers like Daniel Briere, choose not to play in Montreal due to the often ridiculous media scrutiny, and that this can’t help? Wasn’t he around last year when they ALREADY GAVE KOIVU A HARD TIME ABOUT IT? Leave Saku alone!! He’s good for you.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Hero: Trail of Dead
And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead are the latest band to ditch their label and go it alone, which is not heroic, per se. Radiohead, Madonna and Nine Inch Nails have already done it bigger. But Trail of Dead gets an IWBYB hero tag for pointing out the other thing that’s wrong with record labels.
My primary problem with labels is the stubborn pricing. I vow to buy CDs until the day I die (or, more likely, the format does.) But the industry sure doesn’t make it easy. I have to ask myself why I pay for something I can get for free, just to have another jewel case to throw on the pile. If they want to encourage people to pay for music, they should try, you know, encouraging people to pay for music!
But the other thing that is wrong with the labels is their shoddy treatment of musicians, elegantly laid out here. In order to remain a middleman, you should make it a priority to take care of at least one of the sides. In his hilarious diatribe against superdouche Jimmy Iovine ("he's had a great dating record, he just won't have the next TOD record"), head Dead Conrad Kelly describes their unsatisfying experience with being signed.
The best part: this was posted on their band site on the Interscope page! Ironic, maybe. Heroic, absolutely.
My primary problem with labels is the stubborn pricing. I vow to buy CDs until the day I die (or, more likely, the format does.) But the industry sure doesn’t make it easy. I have to ask myself why I pay for something I can get for free, just to have another jewel case to throw on the pile. If they want to encourage people to pay for music, they should try, you know, encouraging people to pay for music!
But the other thing that is wrong with the labels is their shoddy treatment of musicians, elegantly laid out here. In order to remain a middleman, you should make it a priority to take care of at least one of the sides. In his hilarious diatribe against superdouche Jimmy Iovine ("he's had a great dating record, he just won't have the next TOD record"), head Dead Conrad Kelly describes their unsatisfying experience with being signed.
The best part: this was posted on their band site on the Interscope page! Ironic, maybe. Heroic, absolutely.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
6.66 Scaaaaaary Music Videos
Happy Halloween Kids!!!
Here are 6 scary music videos (and a bonus) to get you in the mood:
Catherine Wheel, "Waydown": This one plays on aviophobia as women, children and a ventriloquist's dummy die in a plane crash. They are literally on their way down. Stewardess is kind of creepy, too.
Basement Jaxx, "Where's Your Head At": Monkeys=cuteness. But mutant monkeys with the faces of British DJs attacking you while scientists try to turn you into a monkey=very scary.
The Horrors, "Sheena Is a Parasite": I'll be honest: I'm addicted to this video, in all of its Samantha Morton head exploding goodness.
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, "Don't Come Around Here No More": I clearly remember being very scared of this video when I was younger. Tom Petty is just kind of freaky-looking, and, wait, is he EATING ALICE!!!!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Y Control": Karen O has fun with some cute kids. Activities include animal sacrifice, vampirism, amputation and cutting.
Aphex Twin, "Come to Daddy": More killer kids. This is, quite likely, the most disturbing video of all time. It will eat your soul.
Bonus .66: Battles, "Atlas": This video is not scary, and actually kind of sucks. But I'm pretty sure the song is Satanic. It's the music made by Oompa-Loompas when they die and go to Hell.
Here are 6 scary music videos (and a bonus) to get you in the mood:
Catherine Wheel, "Waydown": This one plays on aviophobia as women, children and a ventriloquist's dummy die in a plane crash. They are literally on their way down. Stewardess is kind of creepy, too.
Basement Jaxx, "Where's Your Head At": Monkeys=cuteness. But mutant monkeys with the faces of British DJs attacking you while scientists try to turn you into a monkey=very scary.
The Horrors, "Sheena Is a Parasite": I'll be honest: I'm addicted to this video, in all of its Samantha Morton head exploding goodness.
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, "Don't Come Around Here No More": I clearly remember being very scared of this video when I was younger. Tom Petty is just kind of freaky-looking, and, wait, is he EATING ALICE!!!!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Y Control": Karen O has fun with some cute kids. Activities include animal sacrifice, vampirism, amputation and cutting.
Aphex Twin, "Come to Daddy": More killer kids. This is, quite likely, the most disturbing video of all time. It will eat your soul.
Bonus .66: Battles, "Atlas": This video is not scary, and actually kind of sucks. But I'm pretty sure the song is Satanic. It's the music made by Oompa-Loompas when they die and go to Hell.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Don't Be Cruel
I’ve been reading lately, courtesy of the good folks at Gawker, about the Worst Man in the World. His name is John Fitzgerald Page, and you may remember him from such roles as Office Worker (uncredited) in Fair Game and Lovestruck Doofus (uncredited) in Beauty Shop. It seems he’s been looking for love on Match.com and doesn’t handle rejection well.
The story, which you can read here, is that he was sent a wink on the online dating site and responded with a bio that the formerly interested woman may have found narcissistic. So she politely declined from connecting further. This prompted an angry missive from Page, in which he questions her judgment in turning down someone of "his caliber." He does, after all, drive a Beemer. And he is an 8.9 on Hot or Not, which likely measures on a scale of 1-10.
You can read his letter and judge for yourself if there are not worse people in the world, but the story does beg the question of how much privacy you can ever count on. Celebrities, obviously, learn pretty quickly that their answer is very little, and yet sex tapes and dumb remarks continue to leak. And if celebrities can’t adapt, then what chance is there for the common man, like John Fitzgerald Page?
Something we should all learn is to never, ever send anything in writing that you would be embarrassed to have read by your mother. The more likely you are to piss off the recipient of your letter, the more likely she’ll read it. Working in the communications field, you are often privy to words that are not meant for you, as people forward with abandon and it is in everybody’s best interest to avoid offering proof of stupidity, arrogance, desperation or douchebaggery.
And another lesson can be learned from Mr. Page, who is probably not the worst man in the world, but who is probably not a man you should marry, either. Never, ever, deliberate on the size of a woman you haven’t met.
On his own site he points out that he is only guilty of the crime of sending a "not very nice private e-mail to someone." In the age of MySpacebook, YouTube and blogs, this an avoidable and sometimes high-profile crime.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
An open letter to the girl directly to my left at the Spoon show, the girl who REALLY loves “The Way We Get By”:
Dear You,
It is clear to me and to Spoon that you really love "The Way We Get By," and who doesn’t, really. It’s bouncy and fun with lyrics about being young and dumb. It’s a good song. Your love for it is clear because for each of the last 6 songs you screamed "Play ‘The Way We Get By!’"
There’s something you need to know, though, and perhaps you already do. This is their biggest song, and it’s about 6 years old, so if they’re going to perform their biggest and most well-known song, it will probably be in the encore. You certainly don’t need to ask for it.
Before I go on, there’s a story I want to tell you about a band called Band of Horses. (Cute name, huh?) Anyway, Band of Horses also have a song like this. It’s called "The Funeral," and you’ve probably heard it, even if you don’t know it! Band of Horses are actually a great band who have composed some phenomenal music (jammy, sad, earnest – you’d probably like them.) Anyway, at a show at the Bowery Ballroom, they were unimpressed with their crowd, who were completely not into the show (which is something no one would ever accuse you of being LOL.) The crowd lit up, however, when they started to play "The Funeral," even raising up their cellphones to get pictures. This pissed off lead singer Ben Bridwell, who admonished the audience for only coming to hear one song. Which is pretty rude, I think. But I kind of understand.
I bet you know where I’m going with this. As you now know, Spoon did not play "The Way We Get By" for you, even in the encore. Maybe they’re just sick of playing it every night for 6 years. But maybe it’s because of you. To them, you might as well have been shouting "Play the song from that commercial!" or "Play the song that was on The O.C. one time!" When you request the only song that everybody knows, you sound like you don’t know any of their other songs, and that could piss a band off, you know? It even pissed me off a little, because I wanted to hear them play the songs that they wanted to play. (Sorry, but it’s true.) You wouldn’t go to a Macy Gray show and request "I Try," would you? Or a Chumbawamba concert and request "Tubthumping." (OK, now I’m just being silly.)
Anyway, I shot you a sideways glance when the show was done, and you looked like you had a good time, so I’m happy that you enjoyed Spoon, despite the snub. They’re really a great band. But as a rule of thumb, if you’re at a show and you want to request a song-which you shouldn’t even do, since they already have a set list-try and see if you can figure out what their most popular and well-known song is. Now don’t request that song.
Sympathy for the Devil
Despite recent big news stories like Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize (too much) or the likelihood of Turkey attending a big war party in Iraq (really?!), I’m tempted to write about my feelings instead. In particular, some new feelings I’ve been feeling. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve experienced a strange wave of sympathy for Maple Leafs fans and I don’t know how to overcome this. I might need help.
True, the season is only two weeks old. Even truer, I’ve always relished in their defeats and made selfish prayers for bad things. But some things just aren’t right. They deserve a better team than this and, more importantly, I deserve a better team to hate. As an avid fan of the Senators of Ottawa City (official team of IWTBYB), this is a natural hatred, but one that is shared by many fans of many other hockey teams. It’s a hate that brings people together. For me, though, much of this sentiment stems from the unceremonious dumping that they have served to the Sens four (4!) times in the playoffs. This happened because the Leafs were a decent team and I can hate a decent team.
The season, of course, is young. A quick look at their five losses (in 7 games, ha!) shows that they’ve given up 7 leads. If they can play a good defence and stop doing that, they can overcome a weak start (and a not terrible record, due to overtime points) and maybe even make the playoffs. I thought they stood a pretty good chance before this season even started due to some decent offseason pickups and Paul Maurice, a coach I believe is a capable leader.
In the spirit of full disclosure, though, I’m not that innocent. I do feel for these sad, sorry people, particularly the ones that are 40 years old, and too young to remember the last time the Leafs won a Cup, yet not young at all. But mostly, I wrote this article to introduce some Bryan McCabe highlights that make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Like the one where he gets checked by his own net and the one where he scores the winning overtime goal for Buffalo (which is shown four times in this clip and gets funnier at each angle.) My hope is that they improve for the next four months and then collapse and miss the playoffs by a point or two. Then I won’t feel sorry anymore. Just smug, as usual.
True, the season is only two weeks old. Even truer, I’ve always relished in their defeats and made selfish prayers for bad things. But some things just aren’t right. They deserve a better team than this and, more importantly, I deserve a better team to hate. As an avid fan of the Senators of Ottawa City (official team of IWTBYB), this is a natural hatred, but one that is shared by many fans of many other hockey teams. It’s a hate that brings people together. For me, though, much of this sentiment stems from the unceremonious dumping that they have served to the Sens four (4!) times in the playoffs. This happened because the Leafs were a decent team and I can hate a decent team.
The season, of course, is young. A quick look at their five losses (in 7 games, ha!) shows that they’ve given up 7 leads. If they can play a good defence and stop doing that, they can overcome a weak start (and a not terrible record, due to overtime points) and maybe even make the playoffs. I thought they stood a pretty good chance before this season even started due to some decent offseason pickups and Paul Maurice, a coach I believe is a capable leader.
In the spirit of full disclosure, though, I’m not that innocent. I do feel for these sad, sorry people, particularly the ones that are 40 years old, and too young to remember the last time the Leafs won a Cup, yet not young at all. But mostly, I wrote this article to introduce some Bryan McCabe highlights that make me laugh and laugh and laugh. Like the one where he gets checked by his own net and the one where he scores the winning overtime goal for Buffalo (which is shown four times in this clip and gets funnier at each angle.) My hope is that they improve for the next four months and then collapse and miss the playoffs by a point or two. Then I won’t feel sorry anymore. Just smug, as usual.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Happy Birthday for the People
Today is the 15th anniversary of the release of "Automatic for the People." If everybody, of any generation, who considers him or herself a passionate music lover has one album that made them that way, this here is mine. So fifteen years ago, in, say, September, Drive’s iconic video started playing on The Hit List-I was 13, owned few CDs, and hadn’t yet discovered the joys of MuchMusic-and R.E.M. appeared on my radar. I wonder if I should have waited until next year to write this article on its 16th anniversary, to make a connection between Drive and the legal driving age . . .
I know that the music I was attracted to that year (Constant Craving, Friday I’m in Love, Lost Together) was strong stuff, but Drive was different. It didn’t sound like a hit. Fifteen years ago TODAY, the album came out, to critical acclaim and strong sales (not that I had any idea) and found a place on my Christmas list. I don’t want to get too into the magic of the first time I played it, or the second time, or the eleventh. I’ll only say that it’s the one for me. 15 years later, I have a relationship with music, an urge to find new things and learn about older ones. Music is my racecar and my blanket, and Automatic for the People is the first place I felt that. (Another thing, looking back at 1992, it’s possible that the whole year informed my critical ear, even if I wasn’t ready for most of the sounds yet. If you combine AftP with "Slanted & Enchanted," PJ Harvey’s "Dry," Freedy Johnston’s "Can You Fly," Sonic Youth’s "Dirty" and Move This (Shake That Body), you might have the formula for my aesthetic preference.)
In an honor of the album, the anniversary and the year, I re-listened to "Automatic for the People" a bunch of times, and offer you track-by-track haiku. If you are lucky enough to have this album in your collection I strongly suggest that you play it today and think back 15 years.
Drive:
Hey kids, where are you?
Words like an alarm, and then:
Hey kids, rock and roll.
Try Not to Breathe:
For lilting beauty
R.E.M. use 2 tricks here:
Mike Mills and waltz-time.
The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite:
Does sidewinder sleep
in a coil or on its back?
Post-Seuss laugh endears.
Everybody Hurts:
Overplayed to death,
But such gorgeous music will
stand the test of time.
New Orleans Instrumental No. 1:
Such a good band then,
That instrumental filler
was still great like this.
Sweetness Follows:
Death-themed slow-paced song.
So a companion piece to
Everybody Hurts
Monty Got a Raw Deal:
Should’ve been a hit.
This song really hits paydirt
once the drums kick in
Ignoreland:
The one true rocker,
It sounds like The Hip a bit.
These days it rings true.
Star Me Kitten:
Random words, snapping-
Nothing then sounded like this.
So odd and pretty.
Man on the Moon:
Andy Kaufman was
not an icon until this.
Now he goofs on God.
Nightswimming:
I’d hear this and cry,
It might make me less manly,
but I still do now.
Find the River:
Heard this and knew I
had to leave to find my way.
Or did he say lead?
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Hero: Radiohead
You probably already know about their new album, "In Rainbows." About how they're giving the power to the people and allowing them to pay any price they want. About how they're completely changing the game up, ditching the label entirely. About how they're creating an honor system, encouraging a band-fan relationship. About how they're changing the future, creating one where the label would likely still exist as an initial marketing machine, but where unsigned is where you'll want to be soon. About how they continue to make good music and play mind-bending live shows in an era that doesn't favour career longevity. About how they're paving the way, basically, adapting to a market that rewards innovation. You probably already read all this somewhere, but it bore repeating.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Blackfacebook
A few things about the Jena 6 and then two more about abject stupidity: The whole situation in Jena, Louisiana is upsetting. There are very few things that I hate more than vile racism and the situation offers two variations on the theme. It is troubling, but not completely brain-rattlingly shocking, that kids face racism in the Southern U.S. It is a shame that racist self-entitlement over space under a tree (!) prompted some dumb kids to hang a noose from it (!) to keep black kids away. It is unfortunate that this racially charged incident led to a brutal black-on-white beatdown. But it is appalling that none of those things is the most disgusting part of the story.
The issue is the adult charges of attempted second-degree murder and conspiracy to commit second-degree murder against kids guilty of physical assault and that’s it. This, of course, has led to public outcry, anger, awareness and locals embarrassed by the attention and media hype brought into their small town, which they claim is not that racist, but is, obviously, racist enough to ignore emotional motive and lay down unprecedented punishment, unaware that other people might hear about this and find it unfair.
The most insulting type of racism is what-me-racist?-type racism. The kind where a clearly racially-motivated decision is followed by "Why you makin’ such a big deal over this/"
And, with that, I give you this adorable story. In my opinion, it’s perfectly fine to go off color with your friends, as long as you know your audience. (Although, I know the blackface is barely better than the noose.) However, it’s probably not a good idea to record it. But, if you have gone way off-colour and saved it for posterity, and you LIVE IN LOUISIANA, why not post it on Facebook? Why not? You’re already racist and stupid. Might as well go for the trifecta and add public humiliation.
The issue is the adult charges of attempted second-degree murder and conspiracy to commit second-degree murder against kids guilty of physical assault and that’s it. This, of course, has led to public outcry, anger, awareness and locals embarrassed by the attention and media hype brought into their small town, which they claim is not that racist, but is, obviously, racist enough to ignore emotional motive and lay down unprecedented punishment, unaware that other people might hear about this and find it unfair.
The most insulting type of racism is what-me-racist?-type racism. The kind where a clearly racially-motivated decision is followed by "Why you makin’ such a big deal over this/"
And, with that, I give you this adorable story. In my opinion, it’s perfectly fine to go off color with your friends, as long as you know your audience. (Although, I know the blackface is barely better than the noose.) However, it’s probably not a good idea to record it. But, if you have gone way off-colour and saved it for posterity, and you LIVE IN LOUISIANA, why not post it on Facebook? Why not? You’re already racist and stupid. Might as well go for the trifecta and add public humiliation.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Balls*
Barry Bonds is a Hall-of-Famer. He’s been playing ball for over 20 years, been an asset to both teams he’s played for and he has hit over 756 home runs, giving him the League career home run record. This, for obvious reasons, is controversial.
Those reasons have to do with the BALCO scandal. Although Bonds has never failed a steroid test, he’s one of the league’s (cream and) clearest examples of athletic steroid abuse. Ideally, of course, steroids would be no problem at all, scoffed at by willful competitors who pride themselves on being as great as they can by their own dint of ability. The sad reality is that monetary pressures and widespread availability make them a common fix for paranoid jocks, particularly in baseball.
Due to a combination of attitude and accomplishment, Bonds is especially hated by quixotic purists. His record-breaking ball was auctioned and purchased by a fashion designer named Marc Ecko, who will brand it with the Roger Maris asterisk-baseball’s scarlet symbol-before giving it to the Hall of Fame to be displayed. This is dumb. Records, they say, are made to be broken, asterisks be damned. At this point, shouldn't those who damn Bonds be hating the game, not the player.
The thing that bugs me about all this is that when Mark McGwire won the season home run record chase in 1998, when the steroid scandal was developing, the achievement was far less controversial. Is this because McGwire is a nicer guy-or a nicer white guy?
That said, I can’t muster a damn about baseball. I’m a Bonds sympathizer-if everybody’s doing it, why can’t he-but only if I don’t have to watch. Regular season NHL starts in a week and things are already heating up in the pre-season with a goalie fight and a controversial hit to the head against IWBYB fave Dean McAmmond.
Those reasons have to do with the BALCO scandal. Although Bonds has never failed a steroid test, he’s one of the league’s (cream and) clearest examples of athletic steroid abuse. Ideally, of course, steroids would be no problem at all, scoffed at by willful competitors who pride themselves on being as great as they can by their own dint of ability. The sad reality is that monetary pressures and widespread availability make them a common fix for paranoid jocks, particularly in baseball.
Due to a combination of attitude and accomplishment, Bonds is especially hated by quixotic purists. His record-breaking ball was auctioned and purchased by a fashion designer named Marc Ecko, who will brand it with the Roger Maris asterisk-baseball’s scarlet symbol-before giving it to the Hall of Fame to be displayed. This is dumb. Records, they say, are made to be broken, asterisks be damned. At this point, shouldn't those who damn Bonds be hating the game, not the player.
The thing that bugs me about all this is that when Mark McGwire won the season home run record chase in 1998, when the steroid scandal was developing, the achievement was far less controversial. Is this because McGwire is a nicer guy-or a nicer white guy?
That said, I can’t muster a damn about baseball. I’m a Bonds sympathizer-if everybody’s doing it, why can’t he-but only if I don’t have to watch. Regular season NHL starts in a week and things are already heating up in the pre-season with a goalie fight and a controversial hit to the head against IWBYB fave Dean McAmmond.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I Have to Tase You Like I Should
An electrifying video has been circulating and drawing some attention. It was shot during a John Kerry speech at the University of Florida and it gives a clear idea of how quickly a harmless situation can get out of control. The shock comes from the Taser.
A student agitator asks Kerry a loaded question, is cut off for no reason other than that he is annoying. Then he makes a scene. What’s sad here is how quickly the police decide to pull out this weapon to subdue somebody who was not trying to hurt them. Six or so officers surround him and should be able to control the situation without resorting to torture. Is this what government-run immigrant torture camps lead to?
What is equally problematic is that if a Tasing is the punishment now, then it’s what the student deserved. Why in the world don’t people know how to behave around cops? For Pete’s sake, man, LISTEN TO THEM. We are trying to have a society here-this involved learning to respect lawful command. Hate cops all you want, they’re paid to be in charge and if you think that you’re in the right you will have the chance to take care of that later. If they’re trying to make you leave an event for no good reason, leave with them. Trying to embarrass them will turn out badly.
Be cool. Don’t get Tased. The more you know.
As a side note, John Kerry’s failure to get this situation under control, despite his ridiculously muted protest, helps prove how ineffective he would have been as President. Better than Bush, but just terrible.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
If I Robbed It
Anybody still talking about Britney Spears’ lackluster comeback a week later – and, I think if people are talking about her at all, then she wins – is missing opportunities to talk about O.J. Simpson’s much more satisfying comeback. On the heels of the release of his book, Simpson is now in jail on charges that include assault and robbery with a deadly weapon and conspiracy to commit kidnapping. KIDNAPPING! O.J. Simpson news is always the strangest news of all.
Some thoughts:
-Could these be the actions of a man who believes that he is capable of getting with away anything? Seriously, is it possible that, after being found not guilty of a case would have been cut and dry against a non-celebrity, a crack legal team can get him out of this? Because that would be sick, but also kind of brilliant.
-That said, there is some weirdness to the actual event, in that it was being recorded, which adds a whole sting/setup vibe to the tale. But, unless he was tricked into thinking he would be appearing on "America’s Funniest Sports Stories," showing up with guns blazing should equal guilty of something. And, the idea to frame this way would have been followed with "That’s so crazy, it just might work."
-Hypocritical, perhaps, following my entry on the power and beauty of forgiveness, but I give a measure of respect to the Browns and Goldmans for making every effort to make Simpson’s life regrettable. Also, for taking control of the book and turning it against him. Also, for ASKING FOR THE MEMORABILIA THAT HE WAS STEALING!! Awesome.
-Finally, this has zero to do with Simpson, but this astronomical headline made me laugh.
Some thoughts:
-Could these be the actions of a man who believes that he is capable of getting with away anything? Seriously, is it possible that, after being found not guilty of a case would have been cut and dry against a non-celebrity, a crack legal team can get him out of this? Because that would be sick, but also kind of brilliant.
-That said, there is some weirdness to the actual event, in that it was being recorded, which adds a whole sting/setup vibe to the tale. But, unless he was tricked into thinking he would be appearing on "America’s Funniest Sports Stories," showing up with guns blazing should equal guilty of something. And, the idea to frame this way would have been followed with "That’s so crazy, it just might work."
-Hypocritical, perhaps, following my entry on the power and beauty of forgiveness, but I give a measure of respect to the Browns and Goldmans for making every effort to make Simpson’s life regrettable. Also, for taking control of the book and turning it against him. Also, for ASKING FOR THE MEMORABILIA THAT HE WAS STEALING!! Awesome.
-Finally, this has zero to do with Simpson, but this astronomical headline made me laugh.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Hero: The Amish
As the first anniversary of the schoolhouse shooting in a Pennsylvania Amish community approaches, the community itself continues to live a simple, selfless life. The first compassionate act in this story is the community's automatic reflex to forigive the gunman, putting actual Christian ideals in action. More recently, they donated some of the money raised in the Nickel Mines Accountability Committee (dig the name, too) to Marie Roberts, the gunman's widower, now a single mother of three. It's refreshing to read a true story of forgiveness and compassion about people who truly understand what it means to be Christian. All of us could learn a lot from these people.
Osheaga Report
Highlights: Blonde Redhead, M.I.A., Arctic Monkeys, Besnard Lakes
New Discoveries: CPC Gangbangs, We Are Scientists
Second-best Arctic Monkey: Jamie T
Second-best Interpol: Editors
Biggest Dilemma: M.I.A. vs. Interpol-I did the right thing and chose M.I.A., but that's a decision nobody should ever have to make.
Disappointing: Feist
More than made up for it: Martha Wainwright
Disaster: Smashing Pumpkins-Billy, couldn't you fake it for just one more show?
Good! Sloppy! Fun!: Pony Up!, We Say Party! We Say Die!
We need the funk: Brand New Heavies
Gotta have that funk: Macy Gray
It's Jeff Buckley and he's alive: Patrick Watson
I cannot stress this enough: Do yourself a favor and check out those first 6 highlights in a city near you!
New Discoveries: CPC Gangbangs, We Are Scientists
Second-best Arctic Monkey: Jamie T
Second-best Interpol: Editors
Biggest Dilemma: M.I.A. vs. Interpol-I did the right thing and chose M.I.A., but that's a decision nobody should ever have to make.
Disappointing: Feist
More than made up for it: Martha Wainwright
Disaster: Smashing Pumpkins-Billy, couldn't you fake it for just one more show?
Good! Sloppy! Fun!: Pony Up!, We Say Party! We Say Die!
We need the funk: Brand New Heavies
Gotta have that funk: Macy Gray
It's Jeff Buckley and he's alive: Patrick Watson
I cannot stress this enough: Do yourself a favor and check out those first 6 highlights in a city near you!
Hero: Colin Farrell
Ok, the cheese factor in this story is high, and taking Stress, his homeless friend, on a Toronto shopping spree smells suspiciously like a publicity stunt (and the link's opening sentence is cliche.) The original, four-year-old story is pretty awesome, however. With a $2000 bounty placed on his head, instead of choosing to ignore it or letting some insecure fangirl ride him to the radio station, he quickly finds the most deserving winner he can.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Haul Ass to Montreallapalooza!
This year, Montreal's 2nd annual Osheaga Festival will rock Parc Jean-Drapeau. In the spirit of full disclosure, I have to confess to severe disappointment over the cancellations of predictable Amy Winehouse-I'm going to pretend that I don't know that she's still playing V Fest the same wekend-and charming-seeming Peter Bjorn & John, who elected to attend the MTV VMA's in LasVegas instead. Seriously, that is so not indie!
Fortunately, there are 65 other bands in town to entertain us. I'm throwing all my support, previously reserved for the drunk and the Swedish, over to M.I.A. Her "Kala" is probably the most fun I've heard all year, and although "Arular" didn't knock me out, I'm whistling a different tune these days. Called 'Jimmy.'
The reunited Smashing Pumpkins are worth getting excited over. They made themselves indie Targets earlier this year, but cred notwithstanding, I can't imagine Billy Corgan putting this band on the road without ensuring a kickass show. I mean, he brought back the original drummer. The original DRUMMER!!
Feist is there! Give it up for Blonde Redhead! Martha Wainwright is there! Editors! Stars! (Why do I keep forgetting about the Stars?) Besnard Lakes!
You get rock cubed Sunday night with Interpol, Bloc Party, Arctic Monkeys. BP's last album might be boring, but I'll forgive them because they are ACTUALLY SHOWING UP! (A special yay! for Arctic Monkeys.) And, in between them, Macy Gray (remember her) as the Winehouse soundalike/replacement. I want to hear 'I Try' and then I want her to cover "Back to Black" and get hammered.
Last year's lineup was good. This year's lineup: also good. But I'll hang in there-next year should be good!
Fortunately, there are 65 other bands in town to entertain us. I'm throwing all my support, previously reserved for the drunk and the Swedish, over to M.I.A. Her "Kala" is probably the most fun I've heard all year, and although "Arular" didn't knock me out, I'm whistling a different tune these days. Called 'Jimmy.'
The reunited Smashing Pumpkins are worth getting excited over. They made themselves indie Targets earlier this year, but cred notwithstanding, I can't imagine Billy Corgan putting this band on the road without ensuring a kickass show. I mean, he brought back the original drummer. The original DRUMMER!!
Feist is there! Give it up for Blonde Redhead! Martha Wainwright is there! Editors! Stars! (Why do I keep forgetting about the Stars?) Besnard Lakes!
You get rock cubed Sunday night with Interpol, Bloc Party, Arctic Monkeys. BP's last album might be boring, but I'll forgive them because they are ACTUALLY SHOWING UP! (A special yay! for Arctic Monkeys.) And, in between them, Macy Gray (remember her) as the Winehouse soundalike/replacement. I want to hear 'I Try' and then I want her to cover "Back to Black" and get hammered.
Last year's lineup was good. This year's lineup: also good. But I'll hang in there-next year should be good!
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Song of the South
Tuesday was a big day for news about assholes. The strange saga of Senator Craig continued as he waffled over his decision to resign. Jerry Lewis exhibited signs of dementia, introducing an imaginary "illiterate fag" during the 18th hour of his telethon. If he can avoid an F-bomb during the apology, the story should disappear faster than Isaiah Washington from Grey’s Anatomy.
Trumping both was Whoopi Goldberg, using her first 15 minutes as a co-host on The View to demonstrate that racism and reverse racism can exist together in a single point of view. According to Whoopi, Michael Vick was unaware that what he was doing was illegal because "there are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country." Read that as "things are done differently in the South." Nevermind that Michael Vick comes from Newport News, Virginia, which is not exactly deep South, less than 50 miles from Washington DC. Nevermind that nobody would mount a culture defense against suicide bombers, or whites-only water fountains, for that matter. Nevermind that she made Elizabeth Hasselbeck look like the voice of reason. What’s worse is the race betrayal (of which Jamie Foxx is guilty too) of playing a race card to defend a reprehensible act. Even if dogfighting is a black thing-it’s not, but let’s just say-even if, that can’t be your defense against dog-electrocuting and dog-drowning. Those are psychotic things.
Things get worse if you start wondering whether Whoopi would use the same case for a white person from the same (fictional) background. She couldn’t. Circle gets the square, Whoopi. You lose.
Trumping both was Whoopi Goldberg, using her first 15 minutes as a co-host on The View to demonstrate that racism and reverse racism can exist together in a single point of view. According to Whoopi, Michael Vick was unaware that what he was doing was illegal because "there are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country." Read that as "things are done differently in the South." Nevermind that Michael Vick comes from Newport News, Virginia, which is not exactly deep South, less than 50 miles from Washington DC. Nevermind that nobody would mount a culture defense against suicide bombers, or whites-only water fountains, for that matter. Nevermind that she made Elizabeth Hasselbeck look like the voice of reason. What’s worse is the race betrayal (of which Jamie Foxx is guilty too) of playing a race card to defend a reprehensible act. Even if dogfighting is a black thing-it’s not, but let’s just say-even if, that can’t be your defense against dog-electrocuting and dog-drowning. Those are psychotic things.
Things get worse if you start wondering whether Whoopi would use the same case for a white person from the same (fictional) background. She couldn’t. Circle gets the square, Whoopi. You lose.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Jewell Case
Richard Jewell died yesterday. I hadn't thought about his story in years, but his death at the young age of 44 of heart problems, while suffering through diabetes and excruciating kidney problems, is an unfair end for the poster boy for unfairness. He was, you'll recall, the security guard who saved countless people from an explosion at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta before being accused of planting the bomb and suffering a 3-month trial by media. Television sets broadcast the raiding of his home. He was mocked as much for living with his mother as for his heavy frame. His collection of porn was seen as evidence of a disturbed mind. Actual doofus Jay Leno dubbed him the Una-Doofus. His mother was harassed. The story was that he had planted the bomb to have the chance to be the hero he actually was.
Let's not run past the fact that lives were saved because a security guard was ACTUALLY DOING HIS JOB and reacting to a suspicious package. Or the fact that he probably did get some pleasure out of his brief hero status before it was pulled out from under him. But do move on to the fact that just over ten years ago we lived through a crystal clear example of the purpose of the presumption of innocence and the need for media discretion and yet Guantanamo and Nancy Grace exist.
Hero: Morrissey
Last week, Morrissey was offered $75 million to get back together with Johnny Marr and play 50 shows as the Smiths. He declined. I don't know if it was over integrity or foolish spite, but as a measure of your unwillingness to sell out your principles, 75 million is a big number.
Hilly: Not Alive
Two days ago, CBGB's owner and key punk figurehead Hilly Kristal, 74, died of complications from lung cancer. His living legacy, sadly, was shut down the year before but his actual legacy persists in the very existence of punk music. After opening CBGB's as a home for New York country, bluegrass and blues, he became an accidental patron of punk rock through a combination of destiny and financial necessity. The club, for which the word seminal could have been invented, is well-known as the joint that put dangerous music on the map in the 70's. Household names were made out of the Ramones, Patti Smith and Debbie Harry, so that their attitude (punk) was more important than their sound (diverse.) If it hadn't come together at CBGB's, the scene would surely have emerged elsewhere, but bands as different as the Dead Boys and Television latched into a collective and gained infamy under the punk umbrella at Hilly's bar.
I visited CBGB's one time-not for long, but long enough to attest to its reputation as a bar more famous for its history than for its upkeep. Some band with a name like Scabrous Blisters had been scheduled but didn't show and they were closing early. I hopped next door, bought a T-shirt and never got a chance to go back. It really doesn't matter. At some point in the 80's it stopped breaking bands and existed more as a place to see nominally talented kids rock shamelessly. Did anybody even go? Now it's gone and Hilly is too. An attitude, raised, sheltered and fed by Mr. Hilly Kristal, remains.
I visited CBGB's one time-not for long, but long enough to attest to its reputation as a bar more famous for its history than for its upkeep. Some band with a name like Scabrous Blisters had been scheduled but didn't show and they were closing early. I hopped next door, bought a T-shirt and never got a chance to go back. It really doesn't matter. At some point in the 80's it stopped breaking bands and existed more as a place to see nominally talented kids rock shamelessly. Did anybody even go? Now it's gone and Hilly is too. An attitude, raised, sheltered and fed by Mr. Hilly Kristal, remains.
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